Some women would rather work themselves to early death than bring a house help into the house. In the event that they do bring one, they go to great extents to find an elderly house girl, one that may not capture the attention of their husbands.
To understand why men sleep with house helps, you should first of all understand why men cheat:
It has nothing to do with class
Most women are under the impression that because she is a house girl, she is beneath the stature of her husband and he would never look at her. That is why they get so shocked when it actually happens. The truth is, men do not recognize class when it comes to pursuing their urges.
When women cheat, a study found, they cheat up – which means they cheat with men who are richer, have more status, or have better looks. When men cheat, they cheat down and around.
They hardly aim for women who sit higher than them. So a house help is to a husband just another woman.
The house help is accessible and familiar, and they do not have to leave the house to go looking for an alternative woman. Accessibility is yet another reason why men cheat generally. That is why it is easier for a man to have an affair with their secretary or workmate than any other random woman out there.
It is power play
The man wields power over the house girl, having an affair with her is just exercising the power he thinks he wields over her.
She might be beautiful
A beautiful house help will tempt even the most faithful of men, and they have to have really good self control not to make any moves.
It feels so wrong
That thing they say about the forbidden fruit, some men just love the thrill of doing things that are very risky and out of the ordinary.
Why do the house helps allow it?
- They need their jobs
Making advances to your house help should fall under work place sexual harassment. Some of these girls are never willing to oblige, but they need their jobs so they count it as a small price to pay. A local parenting forum opened a discussion on why some house helps just pack up and leave without notice.
It emerged that they preferred to leave than accept the advances of the man of that house. Some of them are not built with that kind of will power to leave when things get to that point. Others need the money so bad they just cannot leave.
If anything, if they were to report the husband to the wife, the wife would still send them away because it is easier to deal with a symptom than with the problem itself.
More so, when some men have these affairs with the house helps, they give them money and many other favors away from the employment contract. If they want to keep receiving the extra money, they have to give in to the advances.
2. Settling scores
It is no secret that some employees treat their house helps in the worst way. When this happens, they seek every opportunity to get even with them without necessarily losing their jobs. When they are approached, and in some cases they do the approaching themselves, it feels like the perfect revenge because the wife will be so hurt when she finds out who the other woman is.
3. Self esteem
It is wise to treat every body with respect, be they the president or the janitor. Most house helps, however, are not accorded that respect, not necessarily by their employers, but the society as a whole.
There is this flawed perception that all house helps are uneducated and are only suited for doing house chores. This notion affects then way some house helps perceive themselves. They feel oppressed, and that causes a dent in their self-esteem.
With self-esteem that low, being approached by the man of the house helps them reclaim that feeling of well-being. They feel appreciated and noticed, two things they might not have been previously used to.
They feel at the same level as the woman of the house, or even better, because why else would he pick her over his own wife if she was not better.
The psychology that goes into husband- house help affairs is therefore as simple just as it is complex.