My cousin we shall call Tom for purposes of anonymity started molesting me when I was 13, him being 17 at the time. I didn’t tell anyone for fear of keeping my family apart, because my mum was very close with his mum.
I didn’t really know what was happening to be honest. In 2020 around Mashuja daytime, he raped me for the third time I think. I would have extreme panic attacks at family gatherings, and unable to talk to anyone.
I missed my period and I knew something was wrong. I knew you could miss your period when you’re underweight or under stress so I chalked it up to that. Besides periods can be really irregular when you first get them, and I had just started when I was 13.
But I was sick every morning, I was terrified. I’d get up half an hour earlier than everyone in my family so that I had time to be sick in the bathroom. I thought that I could tell what gender it was already, that I had mother’s sense and knew it was a girl.
I wanted to name her Ogwang, I had this plan in my head that I’d tell my parents I had
met a boy, and my parents would help me raise her.
My symptoms were too obvious to ignore, and I panicked. Tom didn’t know I was pregnant, only I knew. So I grabbed some alcohol from my parent’s bedroom, they’re sort of alcoholics and wouldn’t notice a missing bottle, and I drank 2 bottles of Konyagi one night.
I had hoped it would kill her. I wasn’t satisfied, thinking that I’d just damage her rather than kill her. After about an hour of drinking, I got really angry. I totally flipped out, I started pounding my stomach with my fist but nothing happened.
I cried myself to sleep, I was so worried about going to school being heavily pregnant trying to take my classes. The next morning, I was feeling sick from what I imagine must be what a hangover felt like.
But I didn’t feel morning sickness like I normally did, I shot up out of bed. My legs were covered in blood, there was so much. I took the sheets and washed them out in the shower with cold water, then hung them out and put them in the washing machine.
And I got dressed and ready for school like normal. My parents never found out, it was usual for me to keep my room tidy and wash my own clothes and sheets.
It had been 4 years since then, I’m 20 now and I’m sleeping terribly. I keep waking up in the
middle of the night calling out my baby’s name, she keeps coming to me in my dreams, I dream about the blood on my sheets and often waking up checking my bed.
I prayed about it and I kept apologizing to Ogwang about how she didn’t deserve what I did to her. My life had become a living hell. I talked to a distant nephew and it helped to have someone know Kiwanga Doctors. He gave me the contact to Kiwanga Doctors on their website and decided to give them a call on wa.me/+254 769404965.
I am glad to say that I have peace of mind thanks to Kiwanga Doctors for restoring my
life. And I hope that anyone gets the help they need when they contact Kiwanga Doctors
because they are the best, I hope that I can be an inspiring story.