“He Knows Where To Hit” Mother In-Law Hails Her Son In-Law.

We have refused to forget

We are still demanding the identity of the hoof eater who rained from a KQ plane in Heathrow, with 20 bob his pocket, a few months ago

We must know the real identity of this man, away from the razzmatazz presented to us by sky news on the stowaway’s alleged identity

As we await that, we are have dispatched our investigative team to Webuye

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This team comprising seasoned Mukuru Kwa Zuckerberg sleuths are to investigate circumstances under which a 32-year-old Kelvin Waliuba, used his hockey stick on his mother in law, firing several rounds of live ammunition in the 43-year-old ATM, the same that dropped his wife into this planet

The team must report back to the chair, how this conversation began, especially in a region where culture prohibits a married man from boarding the same matatu with their mothers in law

The mother in law had visited her daughter, to aid her to babysit a newborn, but decided to help her in all duties, including horizontal ones

She says she is single and has been battling dry spell, a situation which made it difficult for her to turn down her son in law’s already cocked gun.

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The child born out of this union will be the man’s son, being his child and again, being his wife’s brother, the child will double up as his shemeji, also called a mukhwasi, in the local dialect

Away from that, I hear Nairobi Women Hospital, had tabulated DJ Evolve’s bill and settled on a 900k figure, but when they discovered it is Babu Owino, paying the bill, the figure quickly evolved from 900k to 3 million

Apparently, the hospital charges it’s patients depending to the weight of the pocket of whoever is paying the bill

Anyway, not a bad idea considering that MPs are overpaid for doing nothing, apart from snoozing and farting in the chambers