COMEDY OF THE ABSURD: Kenyan Driver Who Ferried Fake Mourners, Empty Coffin from Nairobi

Coffin

By Fredrick Shitubi

A group of mischievous Kenyans who reside in Nairobi come together and hatch a plan. They decide to convert themselves into contraband cargo to leave Nairobi for Homabay despite the restrictions set by the government.

As expected, they do not fall under any of the groups allowed to travel freely since they do not offer any essential services.

They take their private vehicle, buy a coffin and load it into the vehicle. Armed with relevant melancholic facial expressions and appropriate mourning gear, they depart the city. Their sorrowful faces and the ‘body’ they are carrying convince the police on the exit roadblock that these are grieving Kenyans, so they are allowed express passage to go and bury their ‘dear one.’

They travel safely past all the well-manned police checks, all the way to Homabay. As they reach one of the checks in Homabay, a keen officer looks at them, looks at their faces, looks at the coffin, looks at their faces again, looks at the coffin again and becomes suspicious. He adds one and one and successfully fails to yield an automatic two.

He proceeds to check the cargo in the coffin. Alas! There is nobody. These are con artists! These Kenyans are forced into quarantine and Corona tests are done. The driver turns COVID-19 positive and becomes the first registered Corona patient in Homabay today.

I am convinced, an ear destined to die cannot listen to any medicine, as the Swahili people say. When some people are set on a suicide mission, it is impossible to stop them. When mother death beckons her children, they do not even remember to wipe the dust from their buttocks.

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Fellow Kenyans, once again I ask; who bewitched you?

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